What if you don't like your hubby's hobbies?

When a man and a woman come together in marriage, it's when you're metaphorically attempting for two backgrounds, upbringings and cultures to be one. In short, you'll dare to have two different worlds to co exist at the same time.

My husband (I bet yours too!) has a unique interest. Instead of NBA, he's into plants, instead of expensive shoes, he's into walking barefooted to connect with nature and instead of having "collectibles" like Gundam or trading cards, he's into collecting memories through outdoor activities.

I, on the other hand is more of an indoor/ introvert person. When I was little, although I enjoyed playing "patintero", "piko" and "agawang base" outside, I would often stay at home to play my paper dolls and design and draw houses.

If you know Romel, you'd figure out he does a lot of active outdoor activities. He likes running, hiking (he'd climbed Mt.Fuji in 2021), camping (and eating!LOL).

There lies the dilemma, I don't just dislike them, I dreaded them! I can't stand summer heat because I often suffer heat exhaustion headache.

Given that our hobbies are mountains apart, I am often faced with two choices;

First, have nothing to do with them and disregard his plea for me to join him.

Second, learn about it, slowly embrace it and support it.

The first option is what my selfish flesh would choose in a heartbeat but the other side of me as the wife who committed to support and cheer her husband on pursuing his passion would win in most cases. So even if I'd want to say "no", I would reluctantly say "yes".

Saying "yes" to his hobbies means....

• saying "Yes" to supporting him.

• saying "Yes" to encouraging him to pursue his unique passion and gifts.

• saying "yes" to creating core memories.

• and saying "yes, I trust you that you know the balance between spending too much on hobbies and being responsible in saving money for our future goals."

I may not love my hubby's hobbies but because I love him, even if it's sacrificial on my part, I'd have to be interested on things I don't care about to show him I care on which he responds positively.

On the other hand, during one of our serious talks about how we can improve our marriage, I had to bite my tongue as not to belittle my husband when he said that he felt attacked whenever I don't sound supportive of his hobbies which translates into me not only not valuing what he values, but me not valuing him as a person. (I wanted to shout "the nerve!"LOL) He also shared that his hobbies, specifically planting and camping, are his ways to relax to break free from pressure at work and that it helps him express himself more.

Wives, embracing our husbands' hobbies takes sacrifices, humility and an immense desire to be supportive and still be united in a world full of division. If you're struggling, you are not alone but you can start small by:

1. Trying to learn more of the reason behind that hobby. It could be coming from a childhood frustration on things they couldn't afford then that they want to do now that they're finally able to.

2. Intentionally think of all his sacrifices for your family. When we're fully aware and grateful to them for being responsible husbands/ fathers, we'd desire to bless them in our own little ways.

3. Ask this to your self, "what can I do as a wife to make him be more confident of what he can do and who he can be?" It could be simply allowing him to go camping for him to be a "confident builder" of your tent.

I can still recall how my husband's face lit up when he finally set up our tent, tarp, inflatable mat and other camping stuff and how he was able to set a fire for our bonfire and so on.

His happiness is composed of a thousand reason for me to embrace what he loves doing.

Our first overnight camp, if I'm being honest, wasn't bad at all, in fact it's one for the book, something I'd treasure as one of the highlights of my 2023 Summer. I personally enjoyed our outdoor cooking of sinigang, wagyu steak, sisig and lots of food. Bonfire and fireworks were also a hit for the kids. Thank you #TeamCamping for the great experience and to our faithful God for the provision, safety, the sunshine and the rain.

But hey, if the hobby is not healthy and would cause harm more than good, tell him gently but don't nag him. You may need to seek guidance from your spiritual mentors or professional help in some cases.

As I publish this blog, I'm not promising that I won't complain anymore whenever he plans to go camping every weekend in Summer and that I'd always willingly allow him to go to Wild 1 or checkout his list on Amazon, but I beseech my fellow wives to keep on showing your support to your husbands and witness their love for us to grow more as we allow them to pursue their passions and ultimately, let's await on God's rewards for choosing to be selfless "helpers" to our husbands in every way we can and benefit from how we can be more Christlike in the process.

Who knows, we might be given an award as the "Most Supportive wife ever".

Shoutout to Jerald Candelaria for "imploring", I mean, encouraging me to write this blog. If you want to try camping too, we're recruiting for next year! LOL!

(You can read more about heat exhaustion headache here: https://www.verywellhealth.com/heat-headache-5217629)