Is "potential" good enough?

The search is over, Love was right before my eyes.

That was our theme for our Post Valentines event which was taken from the song The Search Is Over by Survivor. It was such a lovely day to hear about God’s love and how we need to pray not just prayers focused on ourselves but more so, big prayers for others, for the nation.

I believe everyone left the event blessed and encouraged however, I felt like some also were thrown for a loop and were a bit confused with the answers given during our panel interview due to time constraint.

I am crafting this blog today to somehow shed light to some of the intriguing and enthralling yet valid questions that were thrown out there.

"Is potential enough to give someone a chance? Meaning, he/she isn't a GB yet but maybe if I will pray hard enough maybe God will change him/her?"

I think the first thing we have to put in a nutshell is the word "potential". By definition, it means existing in possibility; capable of development into actuality.

Potential, in a sense that this person has a possibility to be a believer and eventually have a genuine personal relationship with God? or a potential to be spiritually matured and eventually be your ministry partner? If it's the latter, I am all for that because like a sturdy tree that needs nurturing, watering and hard work, so a man (woman) also needs time to mature and turn into someone who has sterling qualities. From someone who was just helping Ate Mabel clean up after church service to the Spiritual leader that Kuya Joey is now.

However, if it's the former, I would guard my heart as hard as I could. I'm saying this not with a judgmental spirit but with a cautious one who refuses to take the risk of being swayed in the race I so wanted to finish well. Although to be fair, there were also some who married unbelievers who later on heed on the call to have a relationship with Him. The Lord wants that for all of us but as a gentleman, He will not impose on being loved, He draws us close with His whispers, caresses and disciplines and patiently awaits for us to love Him back out of our own free will. But there were also some who wouldn't. What if that "potential" person wouldn't?

"Would you be willing to journey with that person even he/she won't dare be reunited with the Father?", as my husband said then.

This journey isn't just for a month or two. It's a lifetime journey with the one who you'd be sleeping next to every night, the one who'd share your dreams, time, money and even your body with, and most of all, the one your future kids would grow up to. If it's okay with you, then by all means, do so.

Is having a list to guide you in looking for a God's Best (GB) a myth that has to be thrown out of the window?

My answer is a yes and no. It depends on who made that list. Was it written by just you under the wrong connotation of what a GB is? Or it was scribbled with inspiration from the Author of marriage coupled with your desire to have someone who you can serve and glorify Him with?

Let me make this straight once and for all, if your list includes someone who is already a spiritual leader who would lead you and work his socks off to minister to all the lost souls here on Earth, someone who already is successful in all his endeavors in life and someone who is financially stable with a house and lot, throw it or better yet, burn it! That man does not exist. In the same way, a list that includes a woman who is already submissive and meek also deserves to be burned.

Non-negotiable should be,

1. A discipled believer (or is currently being discipled at the very least)

2. Someone who is responsible at work.

If the two things above are met, it's already a good starting point. Spiritual maturity or Christlikeness is the heart of discipleship. A man or a woman who submits his or herself to God and God-given authority will come a long way. Someone who is responsible at work would surely be rewarded and would not procrastinate, thus, being less likely to stop bringing food on the table, instead, would find ways to increase your way of life.

The rest is a work that would only be accomplished through sanctification inside marriage as you both work on becoming the best husband and wife that encompasses a relationship that honors God.

Lastly, How is knowing a person in a group setting looks like?

You go out with the intention of knowing each person as friends, ask questions that will unravel his/her convictions and principles on important aspects of life like "what do you think about settling down in the province? "or "what do you believe in when it comes to helping your extended family even after marriage?" and the likes. (Ninja moves as what my husband calls it)

One of the ways you will also really know people is to see how they interact with others specially those who are of "lower ranks". Not to diminish menial jobs but let's face it, the society that we live in has this stigma. By going out as a group, you can observe how he/she treats a fast food server and how he/she handles frustrations and disappointments. Is that person someone who serves or always looking to be served?

One crucial thing to do while doing this is how to protect your heart and the other person's heart while waiting for a Word from God. Timing is still the best ally. Take the time to pray and ask your accountability partner to pray with you. Wag marupok at wag ding marites! Save yourself from conflict and shame if later on God would say no.

But if it's a yes, go for it. Kneel before God, seek to honor Him as you wait and work on being a God's Best until He's spoken with His unexplainable peace.

All of these wouldn't make sense if you haven't fully embraced the LOVE THAT WAS RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES.

Tim Keller said, "Men, you'll never be a good groom to your wife unless you're first a good bride to Jesus."

My challenge is, instead of focusing your energy too much on looking for your GB, how about be a GB, a Good Bride to Jesus first? How? by serving Him where He has placed you, right here, right now! -CS