Even a "no" from God can be beautiful.

 "Some unanswered prayers are only because God doesn't just want to do something for us. He wants to do something through us."-Bill Johnson.

Four months ago, when we were at the darkest pit we have ever been as a married couple, the question that lingered in my head was “what good can come out of losing a baby you have prayed for and believed God for?”

While I was seated at a comfortable sofa at Taoyuan Plaza Premium Airport lounge with my husband waiting for our 8:50PM flight back to Japan, I realized that, the Lord is slowly answering the question when He allowed us to share our story of faith in spite of loss, not just in our local Church in Japan in August but this time, in a foreign land also known as Formoso or “Beautiful Island”, Taiwan.

My husband and I were supposed to supervise a True Life Retreat this November at our Church. However, the pastor from the Philippines who was supposed to speak got a new assignment from God that they decided to just cancel their flight here. I believe God has other plans when it will materialize so I moved on.

Little did I know that that cancellation is a redirection from God. After our usual discipleship meeting on Oct. 22nd, we were asked to stay on zoom which made me anxious thinking that we might have done something wrong and we would be reprimanded.

“We prayed about it and we want to invite you to the True Life Retreat in Taiwan in November. We want you to see how things are done so you can apply it when we’ll have the chance to do it in Japan”. These were the exact words we heard from our mentors Kuya Von and Ate Meg.

We couldn’t say “yes” right away because we have to consider the dates of the event since we already used our paid vacation leave when we went to Singapore and Philippines in May of this year. We prayed about it and while I was taking a shower, the Lord impressed upon my heart to go because soon, when He eventually changed my season, I won’t be able to serve Him the way I want to.

We agreed to go but I was still hesitant because I personally don’t want to miss work especially on days I go to schools that I rarely go to.

To my surprise, when I checked my yearly schedule, for November 15th, instead of my regular school assignment, I was scheduled to be on English day or a special event where we go to other schools. Then for November 18th, I was “on call” which means I only need to wait if there would be a need for a substitute teacher in other schools. In short, I wouldn’t miss any of my school’s regular class.

Even if our plane tickets and accommodation would be taken cared of, we still have to consider the 2 days that Romel and I wouldn’t be paid for work, the parking fee for our car at Haneda Airport, toll fee, transportation, food etc. But even that, the Lord has prepared in advance because Romel receives a bonus every year in October.

When God wills it, He will lay everything at our feet and we don’t have to lift a finger for it. We just have to step on it.

To keep each other awake while on our way to Haneda around 1:00AM on November 15th, I said to my husband “grabe no, we only prayed na makauwi ng Pinas this year but God exceeded our desire when He allowed us to go to Singapore and now Taiwan”. We were just in awe of God’s favor upon us.

Who would have thought that we’d be able to step our feet on three countries in a year? It’s only possible in the hands of our faithful God.

Who would have thought that the supposed observation on the said retreat would turn to an opportunity to testify about God’s love even with our unanswered prayers.

On our 3rd day in Taiwan, on the 2nd day of the retreat, we were privileged to share our journey to “people in Asia” (literally in Asia since we came from different countries in Asia). After our testimony, many people approached me and shared how blessed and inspired they are to hear about our faith despite what happened and I also received so many hugs, encouragement and prayers from them.

I’m back at work today from our flight this morning and I am truly convinced that God is infinitely big for us to limit Him inside a box of our own plans. No one can really fathom God’s amazing plans for us. Allow me to share some of my learnings during this experience.

1. Something happens when we have a broken heart but still decides to raise our hands in worship.

Even after the big lump of blood flowed out of me, we still decided to raise our hands to declare our surrender to His sovereignty. It strengthens us and it also serves us a lighthouse for other people who are also in need of direction.  

2. How we respond after loss reflects what we really believe about Jesus.

Even if we were tempted to question our faith, we chose to believe who God claims to be, He doesn’t lie and that He will continue to be faithful no matter what.

3. God does not waste any of our pain. Hang on tight.

Even if we couldn't understand why a good God allowed us to experience pain, we just need to believe that He intends to use it always for the greater good. We just need to hang tight enough to see how He will use us and our experiences in ways and places we don’t ever dreamed or imagined.

4. God desires to expand our territory.

I realized that my miscarriage has expanded my territory as I talked to people here in Japan about how we are able to stand, write blogs about it where people from different places can read and the opportunity to share in True Life Retreat in Taiwan to people from different parts of Asia.

It is truly an awesome thing when you ask God to work in your life so you can make a greater impact for HIM. He will NEVER NOT HONOR THAT PRAYER.

It was a short but sweet ministry opportunity/ vacation because it is an epitome of God’s majestic way of telling me that even His “no”, if surrendered in His loving hands can be so beautiful. 

Thank you to our mentors for being instruments for God to once again show Himself as faithful.

To our new found brothers and sisters from CCF Hongkong, Philippines, Singapore, and Taiwan for showing us that true love for God will require us to serve His people even if it means personal inconvenience to travel miles away from home just to help in the said retreat. Indeed, there is power in unity.

My husband, no matter how much you just enjoy sitting long in one place to savor it instead of going to many tourists spots; which I told you in a half-meant joke “nasa Taoyuan ka pero panay ka upuan!”, you’re still and will always be my favorite travel-foodtrip-buddy!

And my amazing God, You are so so so good and I'm excited where You will next bring us as we continue to walk with you, either on a valley or on a mountain top.

Credits to the owner of the photos.