A true friend is...

I saw this quote on Facebook and it made me realize that it’s becoming true, not just because years are escaping us swiftly but spending more time with God makes us more mission-focused, thus, making it a necessity for us to be with people who would not just accept who we are but would also push us to become who we should be;

To become who God wants us to be.

Then the next crucial question to ponder is,” who are the real ones?”

With all the many platforms available nowadays where people can meet and interact and the many gatherings or events where we can socialize, finding gems are becoming harder that we’re forced to settle on those who are spending time with us over a cup of hot coffee on a chill afternoon while talking about people’s shortcomings or those who we spend the night with over a classy ice cold wine as we talk about the latest trending topic on twitter.

Interestingly, the Bible has a lot to say about friendship.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled, Bad company corrupts good character.

I also heard this somewhere, “Your top 3 friends is who you are.“ Meaning, who we talk to and spend most of our time with contributes to who we’ll be, whether we believe it or not.

If so, why aren’t we being vigilant on who we allow to influence us? Maybe because of FoMO or the Fear of Missing Out? Or perhaps because being accepting and friendly has been ingrained in us as Asians?

No matter what our reasons are, I refuse to join the bandwagon as it could bring damaging impact more than we could ever think or imagine.

So I dig deeper on the verses in the Bible to help me see beyond who I need to be in my inner circle.

Proverbs 27:6 You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies.

A true friend is not someone who would just agree on everything you’ll say and is afraid to hurt you especially when you’re far from reality. Instead, a true friend will lend a shoulder and listen but won’t hesitate to correct you right after, however you may feel.

A true friend is not someone who would just be all smile on your face but would share how they feel towards you with others. Instead, will tell you when they’re upset at you in your face.

A true friend is not someone who’ll turn a blind eye and tolerate you wasting your life on some useless things. Instead, a true friend would point you back to your God-given purpose no matter the cost.

Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 18:24 There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

A true friend is not someone who would drag you towards their negativity and would not encourage you to have ill-feelings towards others who have not personally harmed you. Instead, a true friend would protect you from being infected by what poison he/she has drunk. In a nutshell, a true friend has a positive influence. Someone who would do their best to point you towards the way of righteousness.

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.

A true friend would not count your shortcomings secretly. Instead, would be honest to tell you what needs to be improved.

A true friend sharpens you and is aware that no one could live a life alone and be a better person. True friends are people who challenge us to take the high roads of our calling that will help us reap the blessing and fruits that the Lord plans for us.

A true friend is not someone who demands constant attention and would feel grudge when not provided with one. Instead, a true friend understands that the world does not revolve around them and is concern about other’s personal business to attend to.

Now it's time to assess, are the ones you call friends the ones the Lord wants you to have?

The advice I’ll give you might not be a popular one but Proverbs 12:26, is very clear..

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

True friends are a gift from God to support and to help us navigate life, to sharpen us and to correct us. Sad reality is, not all the friends we have are worthy to journey with us. Some we should let go especially if they are hurting our soul and are becoming a roadblock for us to pass through the narrow gate we so eagerly desire to breeze into.

Some could stay but make sure they don’t have a say in your life. Instead, pray for them and in the same way that you want them to be true friends for you as defined by the Bible, be a friend to them. Speak up and help them to be who the Lord wants them to be even if it would hurt in the process. I bet it will be worth it.

For the true friends you have in life, thank God for them, treasure them and cover them with prayers. If you realize you don’t have one yet, or you don’t know how to be one, go to the truest friend any one could ever have, Jesus.

He loves you.

He has great plans for you.

He chastises you.

He sharpens you.

He influences you and He stands with you.

Just go to Him as is, where is.

Fear of missing out (FoMO) is a unique term introduced in 2004 to describe a phenomenon observed on social networking sites. FoMO includes two processes; firstly, perception of missing out, followed up with a compulsive behavior to maintain these social connections. -Google